Grandpa's Startin' to Tell Stories Again...

When Chávez takes his anti-imperialist show on the road, it becomes increasingly clear that his global “strategic partners” are less interested in his ideology than in all the money he can potentially throw their way.

Hugo’s most recent road trip took him to Cuba, China, Russia, France and Portugal, as he looked to secure bigger and better energy and military partnerships. Not content to just sign economic deals, it appeared Chávez was looking for some ideological commiseration as well from some of the United States’ more notorious global acquaintances. Unfortunately for him, there was little to find.

In China, Chávez heaped praise upon the Chinese government while taking his usual shots at the U.S.:

“China is demonstrating to the world that they don’t need to hurt anyone in order to become a major power. They are soldiers of peace.”

Chávez also pandered to the communist sensibilities of the Chinese, saying how blessed he was to be in the presence of “Mao’s heirs” and “in the land of Mao”. He then went on to declare that he himself was a Maoist (yo soy maoista). Not to split hairs, but at this point in their history, it seems China takes more pride in emphasizing the current success of their capitalist economy than their revolutionary past. And while I’m no expert, I’m not sure how many Chinese today readily identify themselves as Maoists. This is just another prime example of Chávez’s loquacious bullshit that is meant to charm a foreign audience, but more often than not falls on deaf ears. A few years back, on a visit to the Middle East, Chávez proclaimed his strong admiration for Nasser in Egypt, and also produced this gem:

“My heart is with the millions of Arab people. Sometimes I feel that I am Arab myself…. I have crossed deserts, ridden camels, and sung with the Bedouins. I learned during these experiences to love and respect the Arabs, who have a place in my heart.”

While the image of Chávez riding a camel and singing with Bedouins makes me smirk a bit, I highly doubt he knows who the hell Nasser even was or what Bedouins are. Unlike some of the Arab nations, who perhaps felt they had found a Latino soulmate after Chavez denounced Israel and recalled the Venezuelan ambassador, it seems the Chinese will not bite and play into Huguito’s little war of words. After Chávez gave a typical anti-imperialist, anti-capitalist rant in Beijing, the official response from the government was, “China and Venezuela maintain normal state-to-state relations. They are not based on ideology, nor are they directed against any third party and will not affect other countries.” They also made sure to emphasize that there would be no Chinese-Venezuelan military cooperation. Even Putin made sure to release a statement to reassure that his meeting with Chávez did not mean he had “ideological differences with U.S.”

So, it seems that everyone will tolerate a certain level of grandstanding and bellicose posturing as long as they get a cut of the oil bonanza. If Chávez spent this much effort dedicated to solving domestic issues, perhaps he wouldn’t need to spend 25% of his time traveling abroad to get away from it all.
(Photo from AP)